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April 1-April 7, 2007

April 1, 2007

“Hey Chang,” I say, returning to the suite after work.

“Hey, what's going on, Preston ?”

I tilt my head toward Mike's room. “He back?”

“Dave went to rehearse with the band around two—haven't seen him since.”

“Yeah, but what about Mike?”

Chang looks back down at his laptop, then back at me.

“Pretty down about the game, huh?”

“Well, we didn't really talk about it. He actually went straight to his room.”

I nod. “Can't blame the guy. It's got to be such a let down.” I look toward his door. “We should invite him out for dinner. Or maybe get something delivered here so he doesn't have to go out.” I open the door to mine and Chang's room, taking off my coat, just as there's a knock at the door.

Chang gets up to answer it, and a moment later says, “Hey—Pepper. What are you doing here?”

I can hear Mike's girlfriend from out there and head back into the common room. “Well, I came to see Mike,” she says. “I saw how the game went, and I thought I'd surprise him here—try to cheer him up. Is he around?”

“Yeah,” I say, “and I'm sure he's going to be glad to see you.”

Chang darts me a look, then turns back to Pepper. “So how about we bring him out to you.” He glances back at me again. “Pepper, let's you and me wait out here in the lounge, and Preston can have Mike come out here.”

“You sure I can't just come in?” Pepper says, smiling, a little confused.

I start to say that that should be fine, but Chang looks back at me again. “Na, I really think Mike would rather have it this way. Come on.” He steps out the door, kind of forcing Pepper back, and he closes the door behind him.

I'm not sure what to make of that, but rap on Mike's door before pushing it open. “Hey Mike—” I stop short.

Mike's in bed, under his sheet, his upper body propped up on his hands. Beneath him, I can see a mess of Alicia's red hair, her bare foot, peeking out from one side of the covers.

“What the fuck, dude?”

I slam the door shut. Looking behind me, the common room door is still shut as well, and I'm just hoping Chang's got Pepper far away enough not to have heard anything.

I think back, and remember how Mike said Alicia was going to last night's game, and how she would be coming back to Taylor to hang out for the day afterward.

He has no idea Pepper's outside.

I knock on the door again, but don't open it this time. “Guys, I'm sorry, but Pepper is out in the lounge waiting for you right now.”

I hear some rustling, and Alicia sort of shriek. Mike opens the door just wide enough to pop his head out. “Are you shitting me?”

April 2, 2007

“Here you go,” I say, putting Teri's ham sandwich down next to her at the center table of the Window office.

“I've gotta say,” Teri says, unwrapping it, “I don't miss living on campus, but I do miss my meal plan. Thanks, Preston .”

“No problem,” I say, dragging a stool over so I can sit next to her with my turkey sub.

“So how was Mike doing?”

I can feel my heart start racing. By all indications, he and Alicia got away with what they were doing. They got dressed in less than a minute and spent the rest of the day hanging out with Pepper. I bit my tongue, not sure what to think or what to say to who. In the end, I didn't make any mention of it to Teri. “Hmm?”

“He's gotta be crushed after that game.”

“Right.”

“Are you okay?”

I sort of chuckle. “Yeah. I've just had a lot of stuff on my mind.”

Teri looks at me, chewing her sandwich. “Like what?”

“Well,” I decide to go in another direction, “for one thing I had a talk with Tucker a few days ago, and you're not going to believe what he was saying to me.”

“Was he saying you should run for an SA board position?”

I stop as a chunk of lettuce falls from my sub. “How did you know that?”

“Just a hunch,” Teri says, turning back down to her comm. law textbook. “That, and I figured I wasn't the only one Tucker talked to you.”

“Wait, he talked to you too?”

“He wants me to run for Public Relations Manager.”

“So he's out recruiting,” I say, looking down myself. “Did you get that same sort of dirty feeling, just for talking to him?”

“What do you mean?”

I set down my sandwich. “I mean, just talking to Tucker, I felt like I was betraying Sam—betraying the paper. And for a minute, he even had me thinking about going for it,” I finish with a laugh.

Teri doesn't laugh.

“I'm actually thinking about it.”

“Oh,” I say, feeling the smile leave my face.

April 3, 2007

“Square up to the basket,” Mike says, throwing a chest pass to me after I miss my shot. “You only take a shot like that when you have to—when the defense is all over you, and nobody's open.”

I take my time, lining up to the basket this time around, contrary to the quick fade away I fired last. The shot that follows goes in and out, and Mike grabs the rebound again, passing it back out in the same motion, for me to try again.

The rims are a little crooked here, at this outdoor half court in the middle of campus. It's sort of a random spot to play ball. I imagine it might have been more popular a long time ago.

“So let me ask you something, Preston ,” Mike says, as I shoot again, rattling the shot in this time. “You and Emma—you said that the reason that went wrong in the first place is because you started messing around with Veronica, right?”

“Yeah,” I say, catching the ball after Mike throws it back again. “That was my bad.”

“But it's just—what made you do it?”

I shrug, lining up my shot again. “Veronica's a pretty girl, and she knew what she wanted.”

“So she sucked you in? I mean, she manipulated you?”

I make the shot again, a little cleaner. “Sort of. I don't know.” I hold my hands to get the ball back. “I mean, sometimes I think that's what happened. But if I hadn't wanted to be with her, it's not like it would have happened, you know?”

“Yeah.” Mike catches the ball off my missed shot, and holds it at his side for a minute. “So how did Emma find out about you and Veronica?”

“Saw us threw my bedroom window.”

“Ouch,” Mike says with a chuckle, looking down as he bounces the ball. “But if she hadn't caught you, what do you think would have happened?”

“It's tough to say. Maybe I would have broken up with Emma, or maybe things would have gone bad with Veronica. Or, hell, maybe I'd still be with both of them now.”

“But what if the thing with Veronica—what if you knew it was just a one time thing—one mistake?”

“Well, in a sense, I guess it wouldn't have mattered then,” I say, watching as Mike dribbles out to the free throw line. “And maybe what Emma didn't know wouldn't have hurt her.”

Mike drains his free throw, and the ball comes bouncing right back to him.

“But then again,” I go on, “that would have changed everything. I mean, I wasn't sure who I wanted to be with. And even then, the day after Veronica and I hooked up—I just remember being terrified that Emma would find out. I don't know how long I could have kept that sort of secret. Especially when I cared about her.”

Mike bounces the ball a couple times and shoots again, draining another shot from the line. He has to step up a little to retrieve the ball this time. “You know, Pepper's coming here again in a couple weeks. Wants to hang out, and make up for not being there the night of the game.”

“That's good. It'll be good for you to have her around again.”

Mike passes me the ball and walks toward the basket to rebound for me again. “So when you're shooting the ball, you want to sort of flick your wrist—get a good rotation on it, instead of just powering it up.” He looks up at the basket, then back at me. “Let me see you take that shot again.”

April 4, 2007

“I just think that taking a leadership role in a group that has set out to take down our organization doesn't make a lot of sense,” I say, conscious, and a little embarrassed that I'm having this out with Teri in the office, with other people around.

“It makes a lot of sense,” Teri says, turning from her computer monitor. “The best chance at making a change in SA is take a leadership role in it.”

“You try and change the devil, there's a better chance he's going to change you.”

“You sound like someone else I know,” Teri says, casting a glance toward Sam.

“Don't bring me into this,” Sam says. “You've got your decisions to make.”

“But wouldn't you agree, Sam, that Teri's talents are going to be of better use here than on the SA board?” I ask.

Sam smiles, leaning backward. “I don't know that I'd say that.”

I think we're both surprised, and turn our chairs to face him.

“If you don't want to work at the paper, there's no sense in forcing you too. And working in PR with SA is probably more applicable to what you want to do in your career.”

“Well thank you, Sam,” she says, crossing her legs. “But don't oversimplify this. I'm not saying I don't want to work at the paper. I just think I owe it to myself to think about doing something else. And I don't think SA is as inherently evil as people make it out to be.”

I turn back to my computer. “And I just thought you owed something to the paper.”

April 5, 2007

We've got a pretty big crowd heading to Luigi's tonight for dinner after the staff meeting. Sam and I shoot the shit about what news to cover next week while Teri and Gabby talk, off to the side. I'm doing my best to subtly merge our conversations, slowly angling toward the girls. Whether he's conscious of what's going on or not, Sam goes along with it.

Eventually, we're close enough, and there's a break in both conversations that allows me to take Teri aside. “Listen, I wanted to talk to you about yesterday,” I say, slowing us a little, trying to peel us from Sam and Gabby. Sam asks Gabby about what the Student Life section is going to look like next week, lending me a hand.

“All right. What did you want to talk about?”

“I just—I just thought I should apologize. I think Tucker's kind of sketchy, and I'm skeptical about SA,” I say. “But you're more than capable of making a decision like this for yourself. So I should be supporting you either way you go, not trying to tell you what to do.”

Teri nods. “You're right.” We walk on for a moment in silence, before she goes on. “You know, I don't doubt that Tucker has ulterior motives here. I mean, if nothing else, he recruits both of us, and he leaves The Window without an obvious leader for next year.”

I hadn't really even thought about that angle. For a second, it renews my anger about the whole thing.

“But I'm not getting duped,” she goes on. “If I do go for this, it's because it's the best decision for me. I've got three years of experience with the paper, and if I'm going get into a good grad program for PR, SA might be best thing to add to my resume.”

“You're right.”

“But, Preston , don't think I'm going to forget about The Window either way. And don't think I'm going to betray it, or you.” I look at her, just as she looks away. “We're going to make this work.”

I take her hand as we continue the walk.

April 6, 2007

The ebb and flow of a relationship can be really strange sometimes.

Two nights ago, Teri and I were at each other's throats about her considering running for a position in the Student Association. Yesterday we made amends.

Tonight, we can't get enough of each other.

It was Phoebe's idea to have a little party at the apartment, and it's mostly her friends here. I recognize a lot of faces from the campus TV station—people I pass by at the Student Center each week, maybe even say hi to, without knowing their names.

Teri and I are involved in a game of Asshole early in the night, sitting next to each other, touching arms, stealing kisses here and there. After a few hands, we both lose interest and take our bottles elsewhere, first a corner of the living room, then the kitchen, whispering back and forth, kissing a little more.

Across the room, I spy Amelia and another girl watching us, laughing a little. As I turn to Teri, she says, “Let's go to my room.”

We hardly have the door closed before we're kissing, inhaling and exhaling our beer tainted breath into one another. Teri is bunching up the bottom of my shirt in her hands, then pulling it up, over my head. I return the favor.

Then we're on her bed, and I've got my thumb between the waistband of her jeans, and her skin. I hear her hands go to work at my belt, and I go ahead, unfastening the button, while I kiss her down her neck, to her shoulder. Teri tugs at my jeans, to the point where I lose my balance, nearly falling off the bed. She giggles.

I stand, letting my jeans drop so I can step out of them, then move down, back over Teri. I push some stray blond hair from her face. It's hot in here, and she's already beginning to sweat a little. I run my fingers over her forehead. “Are you sure?”

She looks up at me, eyes wide, and smiles, nodding before she pulls me down onto her.

April 7, 2007

I wake to the sound of Teri snoring. She's lying on her back, next to me in a bed that really isn't meant for two people. I remember pushing the sheets off us, and cuddling close to fall asleep last night. I woke with the sheet over us and the smell of her beer soaked breath pouring over my face. I nudged her over, onto her back at that point.

A twist of hair bobs up and down as Teri inhales and exhales. It occurs to me that it's kind of strange that I like watching her in this, of all moments, at a time when I imagine she would least want me to be looking at her. Even now, she's beautiful.

The snoring grows louder, as some of hair dips into her mouth. She coughs and turns a little, moaning softly. She opens her eyes, squinting at me.

“Good morning, beautiful,” I say.

She coughs again, and rubs a hand over her face. “I have a bottle of water in my book bag. Could you get it?”

“Yeah.” I work my way out from under the covers, then sort of climb over her, setting foot on the floor. I find her bag slumped on the ground next to her desk, a half full bottle of Aquafina tucked into a side pouch. It's sort of wedged in, with a binder pressing against it from inside the bag. I tug it free, though, and bring it back to her.

Teri sits up a little and takes a long drink from the bottle, nearly emptying it. She puts a hand to her head. “Thanks, Preston .”

“Sure thing.” I take bottle from her, worried she's going to drop it, and sit at the edge of the bed next to her. I'm tempted to finish the bottle myself, my throat parched, but figure I'll leave it for her. “You doing all right?”

She nods, eyes closed again. “I'll be okay.” With that, she lies back down and rolls onto her side facing me.

I set the bottle down, and climb back over her, lying with my back to the wall, hugging her close to me. “So, about last night,” I start. “I know we were drinking and all so—you know, if what happened wasn't cool—”

“The only thing that wasn't cool about it was that it didn't happen sooner,” she says, squeezing my hand. “And how frigging sore I am.”

I kiss the back of her neck, and say, “I love you.”

I hadn't really thought about, and realize I may well have just pressed my luck.

Teri shifts a little, pressing her head deeper into her pillow. “I love you too.”