Archives:
August 12-August 18, 2007
August 12, 2007
I haul the basketball up from my hip, leaping from back behind the half court line. The ball reels off the backboard too hard, flying off to the right side of the court. I chase after it, into the grass bordering the court here at the park.
When nothing else makes sense, basketball has always been one of those things that does. You throw a ball, and it goes in the hoop or it doesn't. Either way, you chase the ball down and shoot it again.
I think of all the time I've spent apart from Teri this summer. It's funny how there are times when you can miss someone so much, and yet there also comes a point when you're used to being apart. Now I'm just a few days from seeing her again, but I'm not sure I'm all that excited about it.
Of course, Teri coming is such a small thing in the context of what's happening next weekend. I won't just be reunited with her, but with family I haven't seen in years, with friends, with my mother and with my brother. It's hard to wrap my brain around the idea of Ray getting married.
I suppose that's not all that unique, though. Every family must feel strange watching a brother, or a son grow up. There are those moments that define it—a graduation, a wedding. I suppose no one's quite ready for it until it happens.
I wonder if Darryl Goodman will be out of jail by the time Valerie graduates from college. Or by the time she gets married.
I wonder if she'll marry Adam.
I dribble back to the half court line, bouncing the ball hard against the pavement, then launch another long shot.August 13, 2007
For as long as I've been home from college, Darryl has been in police custody, the defendant in the murder trial that has defined my summer. All this time, the only places where I have seen him are at the jail or in the courtroom. Today, we stand outside with him, standing outside of a bus. Today, Darryl is officially a convict, and he is on his way to prison.
Valerie and Adam stand back from us. It seems they're hanging out again, at least for the day. He has his arm over her shoulder as they lean against Valerie's viper. The wind blows her hair in her face, and she doesn't bother pushing it away.
“If you need anything, let me know,” Dad says. “Just because the trial's over doesn't mean I'm not working for you anymore.”
Darryl smiles. “You're not working for me, John. You're my friend,” he says patting Dad on the shoulder. He looks down. “I wanted to thank the both of you for all that you've done. I know you did everything you could for me, and I know you probably think I'm a fool for choosing prison now.”
I don't think he's a fool. A pushover, maybe.
“You're doing what you have to,” Dad says. “You're taking care of your family.”
Darryl glances over toward Valerie, then looks to me. “Have you talked to her since she told you about everything?”
I shake my head. “Haven't really been hanging out as much,” I say, scratching my nose. I look away, at the side of the bus. “You know, with the trial over and everything.”
Soon, our time with Darryl is over. We step away, as Valerie goes to him. She gets on her tip toes, throwing her arms over his shoulders, around his neck. She kisses him, then tips her mouth toward his ear to whisper something. For a second, I wonder what she's saying.
I turn away to find Adam watching them too, still leaning against the car. He plucks a cigarette from his jeans, and plugs it between his lips. He struggles to light it, his Bic flickering in the wind before the flame finally catches.August 14, 2007
I look out my bedroom window and can't help smiling at the site of Matt's shitty old Ford Taurus, parked in my driveway.
The doorbell rings a second time, and head out of my room and down the stairs to greet. “Well welcome back!” I call, as he squints, trying to see inside through our screen door.
“Presto, what's happening buddy?” As I get closer, I can see the sweat stains on Matt's t-shirt, a result of any long summer drive in his car. The air conditioning has been busted for as long as he's had it.
“Not a whole lot,” I say, flicking up the latch on the door and pushing it open. We shake hands. “Glad to see you survived another summer with the kids.”
“The kids were a piece of cake. Some of the staff on the other hand—” he trails off. From what he's told me, Matt has had his share of run-ins with Julie over the last few weeks. “So shouldn't you be at work or something?”
“Dad's been giving me half days since the trial ended,” I explain, kind of trailing off on my own. Matt knows about most of my summer, but Dad said there were some things that should stay confidential. I haven't been sure where Matt falls in with that. “You want to come in? Have something to drink?”
“Actually, I was about to invite you over to my place.” Matt gestures his head backwards. “I've got a shit load of stuff in that car—could use a hand unpacking.”
“Ah, so this really wasn't a social visit.”
Matt shrugs. “I'll be happy to talk to you as we unpack the shit from my car.”
I can't help smiling. It didn't often occur to me that I really missed Matt over the course of the summer, but I'm glad to see him now. “Sounds like a deal.”August 15, 2007
“So anyway, the rental company's going over my invoice, and the guy's reading back the delivery address to me and it's all wrong,” Matt explains, pausing to take a sip of his coke. The glass drips with condensation, as Matt sits with me, my father, Ray and April at Little Louie's Restaurant. “And the guy's trying to convince me that someone signed for it there, and was expecting all of the stuff. Well, long story short, it turns out another camp ordered a dunk tank, a ring toss—virtually an identical set of stuff on the same day, and the company's office staff only put in the order once.”
“Must have had some disappointed kids,” April says, swirling her straw around in her glass of iced tea.
“Well we busted our asses, excuse my language,” Matt says, tilting his head toward my father, “and put together a bunch of activities—races and Wiffleball games, stuff like that. And then I got the rental company to give us the same stuff for half price the next weekend.”
“Shrewd businessman,” Dad says.
“I would have pushed for it to be free,” Ray says, “or had them pay you.”
“Well that's the beauty of working with somebody else's money,” Matt says, flashing a grin. “But anyway, enough about all this camp nonsense. I hear the two of you have a wedding coming up.”
April giggles, and Ray runs a hand over hers. “Looks like everything's in place,” Ray says. “We met with the manager at the hotel just after we got in, and we should be all set for our reception in the ballroom.”
“And the church is beautiful,” April says. “I don't know why ever doubted it.”
“You shouldn't have doubted it,” Dad chimes in. “After all, that's the same church where I married these boys' mother long, long ago.” He bobs his head, taking a sip of water. “There's a lot of history in that place.
Ray squeezes April's hand. “Well, we're about ready to make some more.”August 16, 2007
I'm just sitting down in front of my computer when an Instant Messenger window pops up.
emmatellsall : aww… are you having a busy day?
Auto response from prestononAIM : picking up my mom, running errands for my bro, dinner with the family…
It has been months since Emma's screenname last popped up on my screen. And I think the last time was when she had a virus and her computer started sending this link to everyone on her buddy list. The last we really talked was probably when we were in class together last fall, before the night we hooked up.
prestononAIM: Lot of running around, but I can't complain.emmatellsall: preston, you're actually there
prestononAIM: Indeed I am.
emmatellsall: it just seems like you're always away when i'm online
prestononAIM: Well, it's been a busy summer.
emmatellsall: from away messages it looks like you spent most of it in court
prestononAIM: That was the job.
emmatellsall: what made you work with your dad this summer?
emmatellsall: you thinking about a career in law now?
prestononAIM: Couldn't be much further from it. It was just an easy way to make money for the summer, and spend some time with my dad.
emmatellsall: well that's cool
emmatellsall: how is your dad doing?
prestononAIM: At the moment? A little stressed.
prestononAIM: It's a big familiy weekend.
emmatellsall: yeah, what's up with that?
emmatellsall: family reunion or something?
prestononAIM: Actually, it's my brother's wedding.
emmatellsall: oh man
emmatellsall: i had forgotten your brother was engaged
emmatellsall: that's so wild
emmatellsall: so when is the ceremony?
prestononAIM: Coming up on Saturday.
emmatellsall: that's so exciting
emmatellsall: is everything ready? the flowers, and the food and everything?
prestononAIM: You'd probably have to ask my mom to get an informed answer on the flowers. Or maybe April, or her mom.
emmatellsall: the flowers aren't your top priority, huh?
prestononAIM: Not exactly.
emmatellsall: ;-)
It occurs to me that there's a lot I don't know about Emma now. I don't know what she's up to this weekend, much less what she did with her summer. I don't know what's going on with her life—what classes she's taking in the fall, what's new with her friends, or if she's seeing anyone. It occurs to me that I'm really curious about it all. I stretch my fingers, and Emma goes on before I can type another thing.
emmatellsall: so i assume teri's coming to the wedding
prestononAIM: Yeah… she's coming into to town tomorrow, before the rehearsal dinner.
emmatellsall: that's cool. it sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun.
prestononAIM: Yeah, it should be.
emmatellsall: well i've gotta run. but tell your brother i said congratulations, all right?
prestononAIM: you've got it
emmatellsall: take care, preston
August 17, 2007
Mom and April's mother have hardly sat down since we started the rehearsal dinner, bouncing from table to table to check in on all of the guests. Sometimes they check in together, each introducing the other to tables full of the new people. Other times, they split apart to cover more ground, touch base with everyone there.
Ray sits back, a smile on his face, just sort of watching it all, as I do. I'm sort of jealous of him for this whole weekend—for his whole life. I've always looked up to him, seeing him as so much further ahead. It's never clearer than in milestone moments like this. He's not just out of the house, or out of college, but now standing at the cusp of marriage—of starting his own branch of the family. He leans back a little in his chair, running a hand over the back of April's arm.
April's drinking her blush wine really quickly. I think she's nervous—probably a little nervous about a lot of things. There's the step that she and my brother are taking. But beyond that, there's just the pressure of the room. Half of her family's here, and the rest is on its way tomorrow. Better than half of my family is in this room, most of them meeting her for the first time. I imagine it's got to be a little overwhelming.
I look to Grandma, sitting at a table of extended family, mostly aunts and uncles I hardly ever see. I wonder if this dinner reminds her of other rehearsal dinners, other weddings—weddings of the people she's sitting with, or maybe her own, before most of the other people in the room were even born. I couldn't have been more than 10 when that one happened.
To my right, Dad laughs loudly. He's been doing that all day, each time he gets left alone with Avery. Of course it's not just the two of them, but April's father too, making small talk about the baseball season, and who they think is going to the World Series. I imagine it hurts my father a lot to have Avery here, but it's funny because he really doesn't show it. I guess that's just a part of who he is, capable of burying his own emotions for the good of everyone else—for the good of my brother more than anything, I suppose.
“This fish is really good,” Teri says, sawing off another forkful of haddock for herself. “How's the chicken?”
I look at Teri. She got lost on her way into town and got in late, worried about not having time to get herself ready for the rehearsal dinner. Looking at her now, her hair brushed but a little flat, and she keeps adjusting her dress, as though it isn't fitting right. For all of her insecurities, she looks pretty wonderful.
I finish chewing my mouthful of chicken and wipe my mouth with one of the white cloth napkins. “It's great,” I say. “Everything is great.”
August 18, 2007
“And now, the newlyweds will have their first dance,” the DJ says, his voice piped out of the speakers in the hotel ballroom.
Ray reaches out his hand in grand fashion. Still clad in full tuxedo, and his hair gelled back, he looks suave and sophisticated—decidedly older than my brother should look. April smiles as she takes his hand, then moves in close, wrapping her arms over his shoulders, locking her hands behind him. He slides his hands onto her waist, then collapses them on her back.
It has been a great day. Despite, or maybe because of all of my mother and April's mother's running around, everything seemed to go right. I stood by my brother's side as an usher, glancing out and smiling at Teri in the crowd a couple times.
I was happy that Matt brought Julie as his date. He made it clear to me when he got back that the two of them were not back together, and wasn't clear on whether he'd bring anyone to the wedding. For whatever they are today, I'm glad to have them both here.
“We'd like to invite the wedding party to come out, and join the couple on the dance floor.”
Teri takes a hold of my hand, leading me out there. She looks beautiful tonight, in a dark red dress. Today she had the time to do everything she wanted with her hair and make up, and she generally seems happier with herself than she was the night before. I hold her close, and she whispers, “I love you,” in my ear.
As we spin slowly, my parents come into view. I'm sort of surprised to see it, Mom's hand in Dad's, an arm over his shoulder, his hand at her waist, as they dance in their old fashioned style. He whispers something to get her laughing.
People alternately start to laugh and cheer. I turn my head in time to see Ray spin April back into his arms, then dip her in grand fashion as they each smile and laugh. I look at them and wonder if they rehearsed their dance moves, or if they would even need to. I suppose that when you're with someone long enough, you develop a sort of inherent understanding of them, mentally and physically. You know what buttons you can press, for what reactions. You know a body well enough to know how far you can spin it, and just how to catch it when it comes back to you.
I smile at the sight of my brother in love.
I run a hand up and down the back of Teri's red dress, up high enough so my thumb touches her hair, then back down. I think of all that we've been through in the last seven and a half months.
I look at the way my brother and April just seem to fit.
I'm not sure Teri and I fit the same way. She hasn't done anything wrong—hasn't given me any reason to doubt our relationship. And yet—
I'm not sure I really love her.
Ray and April share a quick peck as the song ends, and the people gathered around the dance floor clap. Teri pecks my lips, then pulls her arms away, starting to clap herself.
I uncoil my arms from her, and join in the applause.